I don’t know how to talk about what happened. I know I shouldn’t go into it for lots of reasons, but I think I need to talk about it for the sake of my sanity. Brad is the heaviest masochist I have ever met, heard about or even imagined in my fantasies. I cut him with a knife and whipped and beat his whole body until there was nothing I could do would stop the bleeding. I broke his nose and jaw and may have accidentally broken his neck. I squirted lighter fuel on his genitals and ass and lit them on fire a couple of times. I was so into it that I thought he died about halfway through the scene, but he didn’t. After what I just said, this will sound ridiculous, but when I realised he wasn’t dead, I couldn’t go through with it. He’s in my playroom right now screaming for me to kill him.